2002-01-28 - 8:16 a.m.
im an easy target if you wanna get someone riled up. i knew that saying some of the things that i did would only bring on more drama and i said them anyway. drama king? i regret saying anything about wes and katies relationship because i got that one sent right back to me and no matter what you know and what youve accepted... somethings still hurt. i dont think either one of us gave the others relationship enough credit. i just dont understand why wes and ryan acted like they had some big secret that i didnt know about. the last time brandy drank something was in july... oh well... what am i gonna do about that now? and if you were judging character, i suggest you turn your eye upon yourself and think of what you did a few years ago. this entry isnt about that though... im calling for a truce on the diaries... im sooo jocking ryan. im tired of getting my feelings hurt and hurting other peoples. in no way does this mean we are going to stop saying shit about each other. to say that would be pointless because we know its not gonna happen. im gonna leave you with the words that i took my diaries title from.
i dont feel the suns coming out today... its staying in, its gonna find another way. as i sit here in this misery, i dont think ill ever see the sun from here.
and as i fade away, theyll all look at me and say, and theyll say, hey look at him! ill never live that way. but thats okay... theyre just afraid to change.
when you feel your life aint worth living... youve got to stand up and take a look around... you look way up to the sky. and when your deepest thoughts are broken, keep on dreaming boy, cause when you stop dreaming its time to die. and as we all play parts of tomorrow, some ways will work and other ways we will play. but i know we all cant stay here forever, so i want to write my words on the face of today.
and then theyll paint it
and as i fade away, theyll all look at me and say... theyll say, hey look at him and where he is these days. when life is hard, you have to change.
blind melon "change"
