2001-10-07 - 1:09 a.m.

i dont know why i cry sometimes. ok... im not starting off an entry like that. hmm... i like pickles. does anyone have a clue to what jon wrote about in my guestbook? =) i really didnt smile just then. i havent smiled today. my computer was still being mean this morning... my day just got worse. im afraid of writing in here right now. i dont know what will happen if i try to write my... type* my true feelings down. * theres a thought. sooo i cut my hair... i think its hot... no one else does. i dont care... id do me. so would YOUR girlfriend... you... you... guy with a girlfriend. i... dont know? maybe... no. i dont know. speaking of "i dont knows"... tonight sucked lots and lots. i make things too hard on myself. ill take most of the blame for that, but not all of it. you can see your breath tonight... its one of my favoritest things. im sleepy. doors keep slamming... i wonder if one will open. -closes eyes- i dont know why i keep putting myself through... ok... im not talking about that on here... i just made up my mind. ill just leave it as... as...... as......... as.......... i suck. the wrong door just opened again. and you thought they were only shutting. saturday is my least favorite day by far. i wont see you next saturday either... thats what i didnt want to tell you. the same door just slammed. this is too hard. -door- i have to go now. bunnies away. sweet dreams.