2002-01-23 - 10:04 a.m.
i dont like putting stuff like this on my diary, but i feel that i have to. i dont want anything i say to be misunderstood. wes... i lied to you. i knew that katie was being talked about within the group and i willingly told you that she wasnt. im sorry. i didnt want to tell you that because i took part in the "katie bashing" as well. i use that term in humor because there was no "katie bashing", only truth telling. you have known neal forever... and ryan and myself for quite a while now. youve only known katie for about 6 months and weve had 5 times the amount of problems with our friendship in the last 6 months than we have had in the previous 3 years that we have been like brothers. i am referring to myself when i say that... you have been closer to neal and ryan for longer. i hope that you are seeing the pattern. i had forgiven you for lying to me because ryan somehow convinced me that you were lying to me for my own good. that sentence doesnt make sense to me now that i read it. then the whole "eric thinks your mom should die" thing came up. i dont know who said those words, but im convinced that it was you or katie or the both of you. for you to not allow me to talk to katie about it speaks volumes. then... a few weeks later... you came to me with your problem... i couldnt say no to you. "im sorry for all the bullshit. i really need you in my life right now." you were my closest friend for so long... how could i have said no? the most recent incident with neal reminded me of those things. that was when the line was drawn. in no way am i writing this to change your feelings towards katie because i do believe that you truly love her. i think that all of the competitiveness with brandy and myself is a little childish, but i really dont care that much. on that note... i would like to wish chris and dawn a happy one year and one day. =) the only reason im writing this is because i care for you wes. im sorry if our friendship has to end like this. i really hope that doesnt happen, but i dont want it to continue on like this. all that i want from you is an open mind. look what she has done to your friends... your brothers. she knew how much you cared about you friend and still... look what happened. dont let her make a fool out of you.
katie... you dont turn my friendship on and off like a switch. did you think that if you IMed me and if you were nice that i would forget everything that had happened? i would like to say that i was genuinely concerned about you and wesley. im glad that you came to me... now that it is "over", i am in the same mindframe as i was before you talked to me that night. i wish you and wesley the best and i hope that you can truly accept each other in the future. i expect a negative reaction from this, but ill be gladly to explain anything further if i have made myself unclear.
on to nude business...
jon... im not mad or anything, but you hurt my feelings last night. i understand where you were coming from, but you couldve said it a lot nicer.
id offer you my hand, but it would hurt too much to watch you die. and you can bet when we mourn the death of you that night that theyll lay me on the dinner table and i will be the pig with the apple in my mouth, the food that celebrates your end.
saves the day "at your funeral" excerpt
yeah... i know... teenybopperteenybopper
